Well, I succumbed. I bought a Jesus phone. I wrote and published this missive on it in fact, by means of a cool WordPress app.

It’s way cooler than I expected, and I had high expectations. I’m gonna wear this puppy out.

CockWhy is it that, without fail, a waiter will seat another couple at the table right beside my wife and I?  What possible reason could anyone have to want another four ears eavesdropping on their intimate conversation?

I’m not bored of my wife’s company; I’m not seeking extra-marital stimulation like some kind of aural swinger. I’m there with her – you asshole – for good reason.

How often does a married couple with teenaged children get to chew the fat and reaffirm shared values? Hardly ever, as it happens; maybe once or twice a year for some of us. An absence of intimacy is a crippling test of two people’s commitment to one another.

So, here’s a heartfelt request to all you waiters and waitresses out there: when a couple goes into a restaurant, especially one that’s almost empty, pretend you’re not an insensitive prick; don’t seat anyone else nearby.

Jem wrote:
I’ll take a look at the keynote speech tonight, I read an article on the Register (I think) saying it was a big disappointment and Jobs was looking ill and tired and had lost a lot of his magic… wonder if the reporter was called W. Gates…

Oh God, I ignore The Register nowadays. I don’t read it any more. 90% of its commentary is FUD. Yes, Jobs did appear visibly wasted and a little tired at WWDC, but that’s all. He received treatment for pancreatic cancer last year, so I think he is either losing the fight or his treatment is taking a heavy toll. But he doesn’t really have magic does he? He’s just much more relaxed and polished on stage than any other tech CEO, and that hasn’t changed.
WWDC 2006

I really enjoyed the keynote. It was aimed at developers anyway, not the tech press, so screw ‘em. He showed off the new Mac Pro and a bunch of great capabilities that will be built into Leopard. That’s all we expected. And he took the piss outta Vista a little bit. And it was all done with panache; an enormous amount of effort for just two hours in a room full of geeks. So we appreciate it: all that polish just for us. It sure beats Balmer stamping around screaming “developers, developers…c’mon!!”

The Mac just cannot be touched by PC now as regards ease of use, search and multimedia. Even seemingly trite features like those new, email templates for Mail seem a little twee until you actually think about what he’s doing during the demo (he’s dragging photos around in a HTML email message to get it to look right. It’s a teeny, small thing but that’s Apple’s idea of HTML email. Microsoft would never have thought of it so we probably wouldn’t have missed it).

It’s all those little, brilliant touches that make OS X and Apple’s products so enjoyable for me. The computer and its apps are more than just some utilitarian can opener or something. So, Apple wins by putting its customers first, not by beating Microsoft at its own game. And your average tech press pundit steps on a banana skin cos the best he’s ever used is a Thinkpad and can’t get his head around why he’s not the centre of attention.

Apple just goes its own way. It sells high quality, performance hardware, powerful software, fantastic styling and focuses on what its customers want to do in the 21st century. Evaluating its attitude and product range with the mindset of the Wintel business world is to completely miss the point. It’s like trying to evaluate an S-class Merc with the mindset of a DAF truck.

DHL Logo

I’ve lived on this earth for nearly 40 years. Most of that time has been spent in Belfast, one of the more backward cities in the western hemisphere. I have been subjected to all manner of incompetence over the years…it’s a way of life here. You’d think I would be used to it by now.

I have (yes, still have) a package in transit to me from Thomann’s music warehouse. My goods were despatched ten days ago, and they have spent the last eight days in a DHL delivery van repeatedly not being delivered to my house.

The excuse a DHL apologist gave me…now listen up…is that none of the drivers delivering my package is familiar with the area around my address.

That’s right: none of DHL’s delivery men has heard of the major road on which I live, nor can read an A-to-Z, nor can lift a phone to find out, nor can ask a pedestrian.

DHL’s core business is to deliver packages to buildings. To fulfill that mission, it hires drivers that don’t know their ways around Belfast. Can you spot the flaw in this plan?

Five times in eight days my package has been “out for delivery”. And five times it has returned to the depot. I can see this on DHL’s Parcel Tracking web site. Conveniently, that web site offers no means whatsoever for contacting the depot (I had to trick a motorcycle courier into giving me the phone number).

And all this, gratis, from the International Express Operator of the Year 2005 & 2006. Yup, DHL has already picked up an award in a year barely half over.

This city or, more accurately, the DNA that pollutes it, deserves the same fate as Pompeii. We are what the neutron bomb was invented for. We aspire to mediocrity.

Update:

Eventually, after 10 days of shoulder-shrugging from DHL’s Belfast staff, I drove all the way to DHL’s depot near the docks and collected the damn package myself.

Naturally I had to wait half an hour until the van-driving cretin inevitably brought my undelivered package back to base once more.

Oh look…my name and address are clearly labelled on the box. Bang goes that marginally feasible explanation.

And to round off this whole debacle, I was momentarily dumbstricken by the lank on the front desk’s feigned puzzlement: he claimed that the driver playing Indian Giver with my package not only lives on the same road as me, but always personally delivers packages after hours and at weekends to clear any backlogs from his route. Clearly, the staff at DHL Belfast, are out of their tiny, tiny minds.

Sennheiser CX300 earbudsI bought a pair of these bad boys a few days ago. They sound incredible. Allowing a few days use to roll off some of their initial harshness, their sweet clarity and amazing bass are now a joy to experience.

They also exclude a huge amount of external noise which is great when mowing the grass, or when the overhead sound system at the gym is playing the kind of garbage that makes you want to leave gyms. They are also wonderfully comfortable to wear for long periods.

One unforeseen drawback: because it takes a while to insert and manoeuvre each earbud into just the right position, it becomes irritating to remove them to answer someone’s quick question at work.

They also don’t some with a carrying case which is a shame. And they are really hard to roll up because the wires are sort of springy and resist being wrapped. Oh well.

Still, they’re the best pair of headphones I’ve ever owned.

FlockThis Flock browser is really shaping up. That runaway script bug on Windows seems to have been fixed. And the memory leak seems to be a thing of the past.

And it looks utterly lush on OS X.

technorati tags:

Blogged with Flock

Get Songbird!

Now this looks really cool. What a great idea, treating MP3 web pages as playlists.

Wait…there’s no OS X version. Sigh.

Paul Graham

What is it about guys like Paul Graham that makes them insist in providing their syndicated feeds using Atom not RSS?

I’d love to include Paul’s blog headlines on my own page but the WordPress template I use can’t hack Atom feeds.

How ironic.

Update:
I guess Paul’s approach is better in the long term as it will gradually aid standardization on Atom, a better standard that the various flavours of RSS.

That’s assuming people want to read your feed badly enough of course…

BBC News

The government has been told to compensate 85,000 people who have lost all or part of their company pensions.

BBC NEWS

What I'd give for any pension…

FlockGiving this a spin tonight: flock

It seemed like a daft idea when I first stumbled across it in a Joel On Software forum slag-off.

But now that I’m playing with it, I’m pleasantly surprised, not least because it runs wonderfully quickly on OS X…unlike Firefox which supposedly shares the same code base.

Watch this space…